Metta: loving kindness in Buddhism

By Nina van Gorkom

Chapter 1 (Extract)

Conditions and impediments

Metta, loving kindness, can be cultivated when we know its characteristic. When there is true metta other people are considered as friends: there is a feeling of closeness and sympathy, we have tender care for them and we want to do everything for their benefit and happiness. At such moments the citta is gentle, there is no conceit, mana, which is the condition for asserting oneself, for showing ones own importance and for disparaging others.

If there is the earnest wish to develop metta, we want to eliminate akusala dhammas, also those which we usually do not notice. We do not realize the extent of our conceit, jealousy, stinginess, aversion and other defilements. When we develop metta we will begin to notice many kinds of defilements, and as metta is accumulated more there will be less opportunity for the arising of unwholesomeness.

Conceit is a defilement which is an impediment to metta. When there is metta we think of the wellbeing of someone else, whereas when there is conceit we find ourselves important. If we wish to eliminate conceit and to develop metta we must know the characteristic of conceit. We read in the Atthasalini (Expositor, Book II, Part II, Chapter 2, 372) about conceit:

Conceit, overweening and conceitedness signify mode and state. Loftiness is in the sense of rising upwards or of springing over others. Haughtiness, i.e. in whom conceit arises, him it lifts up, keeps upraised. Flaunting a flag is in the sense of swelling above others. Assumption means uplifting; conceit favours the mind all round. Of many flags the flag which rises above others is called a banner. So conceit arising repeatedly in the sense of excelling with reference to subsequent conceits is like a banner. That mind which desires the banner is said to be desirous of the banner (i.e., self advertisement). Such a state is desire for self-advertisement. And that is of the citta, not of a real self; hence desire of the citta for self-advertisement. Indeed, the citta associated with conceit wants a banner, and its state is reckoned as banner-conceit.

When we learn about the characteristic of conceit we can see the difference between the moment of akusala citta and of metta. Akusala citta does not have the characteristic of gentleness and tenderness, at such a moment there is no feeling of closeness and friendship for others. If we want to develop metta there must be sati-sampajanna, mindfulness and understanding, in order to know when there is kusala citta and when there is akusala citta. At the moment of conceit there cannot be metta.

Jealousy is another defilement which is an impediment to metta. When we are jealous of someone we certainly do not treat him as a friend. If we really want to develop metta in our daily life, we should be aware of its characteristic of sympathy and tenderness and we should realize that metta cannot go together with jealousy. The Atthasalini (Book II, Part II, Chapter 2, 373) states about envy:

In the exposition of envy, envy at the gains, honour, reverence, affection, salutation, worship accruing to others is that envy which has the characteristic of not enduring, or of grumbling at the prosperity of others, saying concerning others gains, etc. , What is the use to these people of all this?

The person who has attained the first stage of enlightenment, the sotapanna, has completely eradicated jealousy because he sees the characteristics of realities as they are: mental phenomena (nama dhammas) and physical phenomena (rupa dhammas), arising because of their appropriate conditions. He realizes that there isnt anybody who can create gains for himself, or who can cause others to honour him, to greet him or to pay respect to him. In fact, obtaining gains and receiving honour and respect from others depends on conditions. Therefore, there should not be jealousy. When there is jealousy there is no metta. All dhammas, realities, are anatta (non-self), kusala dhammas as well as akusala dhammas; they arise because of their appropriate conditions. So long as one is not yet an ariyan, a person who has attained enlightenment, there are conditions for jealousy. One is not only jealous of those who are not ones relatives or friends but even of those who are near and dear to oneself. Stinginess is another defilement which is an impediment to metta. The Atthasalini (in the same section, 373) states that there is stinginess as to five things:

dwelling (the place where one stays) family (for a monk this can be the family of servitors to a monastery or relatives) gain (for a monk: the acquirement of the four requisites) beauty and praise (one does not want others to be praised because of beauty or merits) dhamma (one does not want to share knowledge of dhamma)

We read further on (375, 376):

Stinginess is the expression of meanness. Avariciousness is the act or mode of being mean. The citta which is mean is the state of one endowed with stinginess. Let it be for me only and not for another!thus wishing not to diffuse all ones own acquisitions The state of such a person is avarice, a synonym for soft meanness. An ignoble person is churlish. His state is ignobleness, a name for hard stinginess. Verily, a person endowed with it hinders another from giving to others. And this also has been said (Kindred Sayings, I, 120): Malicious, miserly, ignoble, wrong Such men hinder the feeding of the poor

A niggardly person seeing mendicants causes his mind to shrink as by sourness. His state is niggardliness. Another way:niggardliness is a spoon-feeding. For when the pot is full to the brim, one takes food from it by a spoon with the edge bent on all sides; it is not possible to get a spoonful; so is the citta of a mean person bent in. When it is bent in, the body also is bent in, recedes, is not diffusedthus stinginess is said to be niggardliness.

Lack of generosity of citta is the state of a mind which is shut and gripped, so that it is not stretched out in the mode of making gifts, etc. in doing service to others. But because the mean person wishes not to give to others what belongs to himself, and only wishes to receive what belongs to others, therefore this meanness should be understood to have the characteristic of hiding or seizing ones own property, occurring thus: May it be for me and not for another!

The commentator investigates here the citta of the ordinary person who has not yet eradicated avarice. Only the ariyan has eradicated avarice completely. When aversion, conceit, jealousy or stinginess arise there is no metta with the citta. If we want to develop metta we should acquire a refined knowledge of our different cittas. The characteristics of the cittas which think of particular persons should be investigated. Metta should not be restricted to a particular group of people. We should continue to develop metta evermore. There can never be enough metta.

The Buddha showed in many different suttas the benefit of the development of metta. We read in the Kindred Sayings (I, Sagatha vagga, Chapter X, The Yakkhas, 4, Manibhadda):

The Exalted One was once staying among the Magadhese, at the Manimala temple, in the haunt of the yakkha Manibhadda. Then that yakkha drew near to the Exalted One, and before him uttered the verse: To one of mind alert luck ever comes; He prospers with increasing happiness For him tomorrow is a better day. And wholly from all hate is he released. The Buddha said: For him whose mind ever by night and day In harmlessness, in kindness takes delight, Bearing his share in love for all that lives, In him no hate is found toward anyone.

Thus we see the great benefit of the development of metta. Metta can be developed as a subject of tranquil meditation, samatha. If there is right understanding of the development of calm with this subject, a high degree of calm, even absorption, jhana, can be attained. The cittas which attain absorption, jhanacittas, are of a higher plane of citta. At the moments of jhanacitta there are no sense impressions and one is temporarily free from defilements. However, after the jhanacittas have fallen away, defilements arise again. The development of tranquillity with metta as meditation subject will not lead to the eradication of anger, dosa. Only the development of satipannhana, right understanding of realities, leads to the eradication of defilements. Defilements are eradicated subsequently at four stages of enlightenment. Only at the fourth stage, the stage of the arahat, all defilements are eradicated. At the third stage, the stage of the non-returner, anagami, anger or aversion is eradicated. The anagami has no more anger and is full of metta. The development of right understanding of realities, satipatthana, can be the condition for more metta. Panna, right understanding, knows that what one takes for beings, people or self are only mental phenomena, nama dhammas, and physical phenomena, rupa dhammas. We use conventional terms and names for the different beings and things which appear, but in reality there are only namas and rupas which arise because of conditions and then fall away. Each citta which falls away is succeeded by the next one, and also rupas which fall away are replaced so long as there are conditions for them to be produced.

Someone said that while he is not engaged in any activity he finds that he is distracted, that he has akusala cittas. He wishes, in order to have kusala cittas, to recite stanzas about metta for a long time. If one develops satipatthana however, one should remember that even feeling distracted or dull can be object of awareness. In such circumstances sati can be aware immediately of the characteristic which appears and then there are kusala cittas. It is not easy to know the characteristic of the reality which appears; panna should really be developed so that there can be precise knowledge of the different characteristics of nama and rupa. There must be awareness of the characteristic of the reality which experiences, nama dhamma, and of the characteristic of the reality which does not know anything, rupa dhamma. The difference between the characteristics of nama and rupa should be clearly distinguished. When there is awareness of the realities which appear one at a time through the doorways of the senses and the mind, through the six doors, their characteristics must be carefully considered and investigated. In that way nama and rupa can be understood as they are: as non-self. The person who believes that he should just recite texts about metta may not be sure whether there are at such moments kusala cittas or akusala cittas. He may not know that awareness, sati, is necessary for the development of panna, understanding, which clearly knows the reality appearing at the present moment. Perhaps he may not even know to which purpose he recites texts. If we really want to cultivate metta we should see the disadvantage of all kinds of akusala, such as aversion, conceit, jealousy and stinginess. For the development of metta it is necessary to have a refined, detailed knowledge of ones different cittas. They must be known as they really are. Kusala citta and akusala citta have different characteristics. Even if there is kusala of a slight degree, that moment is completely different from the moments of attachment. If sati and panna do not arise one cannot know when there is lobha and when there is metta. If one does not know their different characteristics one may unknowingly develop akusala instead of metta since one takes for kusala what is in fact akusala. Therefore a precise knowledge of the different characteristics of lobha and metta is necessary.